Happy holidays everyone, looking forward to what December 12th brings. “1:26PM: A woman wearing a Santa hat, red sweater, and jeans is urinating under the L tracks at Sheffield and Roscoe ‘right next to the porta-potties.’ In the spirit of the holidays, a man is urinating next to her.” Unless that person was hospitalized for passing out on the hood of a car. Now, nothing is funny about a person getting hospitalized. Passed out on the hood of a vehicle.’ Birdman gets hospitalized.” “6:19PM: ‘White male wearing a white bird costume has passed out on the hood of a car,’ 3524 Halsted.Ħ:20PM: Officer confirms: ‘I believe an ambulance is warranted. But we do know that a cop suggesting in a police report that Santa had “too much tea in his box” is kind of the greatest thing ever. Unknown officer suggests ‘Santa has too much tea in his box.’” Kenmore says an intoxicated teen in a Santa costume keeps knocking on her back door and blocking the entrance to her home.ĩ:08PM: The teenaged Santa on Kenmore is now ‘having a tussle’ with a neighbor who tried to intervene.ĩ:11PM: Santa teen is arrested for assault. “9:03PM: A resident in the 3300 block of N. This one reminds us of the woman who called 911 because McDonald’s ran out of nuggets. “4:42PM: At Dark Horse bar, a drunk caller wants the police because the bouncer won’t let her back in.” And you might want to lose the Christmas vest. Although, if you’re gonna be a criminal mastermind, you might want to at least wait until dark to break into cars. “3:19PM: White guy wearing a red Christmas vest and a white shirt is trying to get into cars at Halsted and Belmont.”
Would explain the public urination at least.ĥ. What the hell is going on with TBOX and cars? There must be something about that holiday magic that turns people into mindless car-chasing dogs by mid-afternoon. “4:10PM: White male wearing green pants is chasing cars in the street at Clark and Newport.” No matter how many fire shots you took down.Ħ. “6:44PM: White male in a black sweater jumping in front of cars at Addison and Wilton.”ĭear Santa: You are not Superman.
CHICAGO POLICE BLOTTER MAC
If only there had been video, this could have been our mac and cheese kid. One can only imagine how a bagel skirmish resorting to fisticuffs went down:įrat bro A: Can I get a tub of shmear on my cinnamon raisin bagel? “1:41PM: Two white guys ‘wearing sweaters and costumes’ are fist fighting inside Einstein Bagels.” Is this some radical new way to get cars to stop for pedestrians in Chicago crosswalks? Probably more effective than the half-ass stop signs we have now. He’s wearing a ‘bright red, fancy Santa suit.’” “1:43PM: Fire Department reports that man down at Belmont and Seminary is now lying in traffic. Come to think of it, this one could go either way.ĩ. Or the “red holiday sweater” in question was stolen from Freddy Krueger after too many TBOX cereal shooters. The man on fire escape is a long-lost boyfriend trying to sneak into the apartment to lovingly place an engagement ring under the tree. This has all the makings of a classic holiday rom-com.
“9:35PM: A resident in the 3300 block of Clark reports an unknown drunk man on her fire escape.
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